Christmas Musings

By: Ben

So, tomorrow is Christmas Eve.  What the hell?  When did that sneak up on us?  As a school teacher, we just got out of school for the holidays.  Typically, we get out around the 19th, but the powers that be decided that the 21st would be okay this year.

So what? It’s two days, what is the big deal you say?  Well, as both my wife and I are full time teachers, parents and I’m also in a Master’s Program, we feel like we didn’t have time to decompress before being thrown directly into the Christmas meat-grinder.  In addition, my daughter had a doctor’s appointment and my wife caught a Christmas Cold.

Did I mention my wife is the most crafty person on the planet?  Because it is baby’s first Christmas, my wife wanted to make us all new stockings.  From scratch.  And, my wife’s family has this funky little tradition where each family (her brother, sister, us, etc) wears matching pajamas on Christmas Eve.  My wife wanted to make us all new pajamas.  From scratch.  So the first two days after break, we’ve spent at the doctor and then at my mother-in-law’s house.  Today, my wife is finishing up on the projects just in time for the holidays.

The bad part is, we still have a shit-load of wrapping to do.  We try to do it in our “spare” time but my daughter has other ideas.  She isn’t typically happy to sit and be an idle spectator.  She wants to be involved.  It’s typically counter-productive. Last night after spending the entire day at my mother-in-law’s house, we went home and had moderate success wrapping.  My daughter was good enough to sit in her play pen and watch TV.  When she was finally fed up with that, my wife was able to put her to sleep.  She slept in the floor as we tried in vain to quietly wrap gifts.  It worked for a while.  Again, moderate steps–baby steps, if you will.

I am a Christmas fanatic.  I love everything about it (almost.)  We over decorate, we listen to Christmas music, we give too many gifts, we spend too much money, we send out too many Christmas cards (75–and only receive about 15 in return) and this year, with it being my daughter’s first Christmas, we’ve gone pretty insane.  “We won’t get her much, because she’s only 11 months and won’t know the difference.”  “She’ll like the paper and boxes more than the gifts.”  Yeah right.  This kid is not going to know what hit her.

But, although, I love Christmas time, I’ve had a hard time getting in the mood since school has let out.  So last night after we got home and the aforementioned wrapping occurred, I decided to go into the kitchen, get out my Santa Clause whiskey tumbler (thank you Mary-Helen), pour out a cup of “cheer,” turn on the Christmas music and by-God get into the damn Christmas spirit.  My wife has done everything possible to make this Christmas special for my daughter and I.  I’m going to embrace it and as the meme on my Facebook says, I’m going to “Jingle All the Way because no one likes a half-ass jingler.”

This is going to be the best Christmas yet and in the words of one of my favorite Christmas movies National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation: “…we’re gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he’s gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.” All joking aside, it’s going to be great.  I’m ready to share the holiday traditions with my daughter and create new ones as a family.

Seriously, y’all–I married way up–I DO NOT deserve my wife.  Check out the stockings she created for us.  And just so you know and as you will soon find out as the blog progresses, this isn’t an isolated incident.  She’s always doing something for us as what she calls an “I love you gift.”



Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy Kwanza, Happy Festivus, Merry Winter Solstice or whatever other greeting fits with your brand of holiday.  Truly–from our family to yours.


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