By Tate & Ben
I’m a cusser. And it’s one of my favorite things to do. I have never been a fan of strong language. But when I became with child there also grew within me a lot of offensive language. I don’t know what I can attribute this to. It just sort of happened one day. All the sudden my tongue has the amazing ability to knit fabrics of disgusting words.
Though I haven’t written one – they are there in my head and in my heart.
Don’t get it twisted though- I may use terrible language. But that doesn’t mean I use or like hateful language. Don’t think for a second I’m going laugh at a joke or comment about someone’s race or orientations or whatever. My red flags go up at that point. Except in the Cards Against Humanity game.
I’ve been cussing for approximately 28 of my 31 years. It is a talent I think I was born with. Spend two minutes with either of my parents and you will find out why. Cussing was just something I grew up with. I never knew it was inappropriate until much later in life. Nevertheless, I don’t have much shame and so cuss words fly often, much to my wife’s chagrin. She wasn’t much of a cusser…until she married me and had to put up with my shit. Bless Her. Even then, she only uses the more benign words.
As a teacher, I’m good at censoring and my wife says I must bring that censoring ability home now that we have a beautiful one year old sponge crawling around our house.
My wife’s very sweet and straight laced Aunt Cathy, who is an extremely God-fearing woman has somehow taken a liking to me. She isn’t a cusser and I think she likes me because she can laugh at me knowing she’s safely on the elevator to heaven while she isn’t so sure about my ultimate fate. Nevertheless, I’ve gotten her to cuss a couple of times, shocking her daughter-in-law.
One day at the weekly Sunday lunch at my wife’s grandmother’s house, Aunt Cathy asked me: “What are you going to do when your daughter’s first word is shit?” I said “I’m going to be thankful it isn’t fuck.”
So, you have been warned by us both. We speak cuss fluently.