Marital Conversations

By: Ben

Wife: “Oh how cool!”

Me: while working on updating the blog “what?”

Wife: “Big Spring now has an ‘Escape the Room.'”

Me: enthusiastically “uhhh-huhhh.”

Wife: Pauses and looks at me-“Are you just saying that to appease me.”

Me: “I honestly don’t even know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

Wife: Starts explaining the idea of an ‘Escape the Room.’


This is a thing?  They lock you in a room and you have to solve a puzzle or riddle or clues in order to get out?  I feel like, as a high school teacher, I do this on a daily basis.

By the way: I don’t live in Big Spring.  I live in Coahoma. Ever heard of it?  That’s okay.  Me either, until I married my wife.  That’s not entirely true.  I remember that our softball team in Hawley always had a rivalry against Coahoma.  I didn’t give a shit about sports too much, but by default, I hated Coahoma because I was from Hawley. Now, I live in Coahoma.  I’m a blood traitor to my upbringing.  But I sleep alright at night, so I’m not too worried about it.

Coahoma is a small town.  900 people.  My wife’s family lives here, she graduated from here and only left for two years to attend college before she moved back and started teaching here.  She’s close with her family.  Meanwhile, I left home and went to Perryton (6 hours away from my home) and loved it.  I stayed there for five years with no family remotely close.  I swore I’d never live in West Texas again.  And yet here I am.  We aren’t allowed to live anywhere else on the planet unless my mother-in-law moves with us. That’s the rule. I suppose that is why we are so reliant on my mother-in-law.  It’s a ploy to ensure we cannot function without her and will never move away.  By the way–it’s working.  We can’t be functioning adults without our Patty.

These Coahoma roots run deep…like all the way to hell.  The things you do for love.


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