Meet Eva

By: Ben

Eva is one of my best friends.  She used to work across the hall from me, but this year took a new position at a different school in our district. Eva is a super mom, teacher, person and bitch.

What drew me to Eva four years ago when I began working at the school, was her attitude and personality and her frequent use of the Fbomb, of which I am a fan.  She’s the best person on the planet to have on your side.

But you NEVER want to be on her bad side.  I’ve seen it happen and it isn’t pretty.  There are about four or five times that I can remember her bringing a student out into the hall and dressing them down.  She is they type of teacher that tells the students what they need to hear…and incidentally, she is the type of person whose voice carries down the entire hall. There’s typically no secret as to what she’s thinking. When Eva is giving a student “the business” everyone in the hallway can hear. There is no shame in her game and…the students love her for it.

She will do anything for those she loves but if you cross her, her favorite saying is “You’re dead to me.”  That is not something you want to hear from Eva.

When my wife and I were expecting, she was my baby guru.  She’s the mother of two boys and she gave me advice, expertise, and counsel.  I appreciate her parenting style and she makes me laugh constantly.  Below is an excerpt of a text conversation we had this weekend:

Eva: “H. (her youngest son) just shit himself in the middle of Ashley furniture!”

Me: “AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA—I needed a good laugh.”

T: (another friend who is in the text conversation) “OH MY GOSH, Eva, Bless your heart!”

Eva: “FML.  We are busting our ass to clean out that room and make a playroom for a kid who likes to shit himself!  And it is the most rank smelling shit ever.  I made N. (her husband) carry him because I was worried about it falling out of his pants.”

T: “Oh, sweetie…I know, but think how far he’s come since September.”

Eva: “I’m here for you Ben.  I’ll save the day.”

T: “Maybe you can give your testimony on Ben’s Blog…call it “Shit happens.”

Eva: “For real.”

Ben: “Oh my god!!! I’m laughing!!!”

Eva: “He cried all the way home.  I told D (her older son) to shame him.  Told him we can’t play video games because of him.  Too much?”

Ben: “AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Blog Worthy!”

But seriously.  She’s the best friend a person could have on your side.  You always feel safe when Eva is around because NO ONE is going to mess with her.  I hope one day she’ll be a guest contributor to our blog.  She’s one bad bitch!




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