Bless Your Effin’ Heart

By: Tate

Person: Bless your heart.
Me: No, bless your heart!

The whole “bless your heart” irritates me to no end.
Just say ” eefffffff you” and get on with it.

And don’t expect me to smile if you say “what a sweet baby.” I know what you’re saying. You are saying that the baby is ugly. And I will judge you a little because I think that you may be the bad seed for thinking babies are ugly.

Little babies are like cakes. They are wonderful no matter what. Even the little cakes at the Chinese buffets. Even though I know they won’t taste the same as a regular cake – I still take some anyway! Because cake is adorable.

But seriously why don’t they put more sugar in those little cakes? I mean bless their hearts, why is there not more sugar in the Chinese buffet cakes?

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