Honor Roll

By Tate

I bought some pants for five dollars and now they are way too tight but I know it was the endless amount of tacos I consumed last night and not the five dollar pants.

But someone has to be punished and I’m leaning towards the pants.
Yep-Pants are going into the trash for basically calling me fat.

Can’t let pants get you down.

My kid makes honor roll. Which I’m so proud because I never made grades like that. In fact, I’m proud to say that I repeated the 2nd grade. That’s right, after years of shame I can be proud because I really had it figured out. I repeated a grade which ultimately kept me “little” longer. So now I’m Peter Pan and I don’t ever want to grow up. And if I’m Peter Pan I want Ed Sheeran to follow me around like Tinker Bell because I love Ed Sheeran and I feel he can do no wrong. Seriously his new song “Castle on the Hill” has been on repeat for days.

But back to Dan and his grades. They are so good and I’m proud, yada. But homeboy comes out of his room this morning with his jeans on backwards-BACKWARDS!!!!
Obviously he is the whole package. Super impressed with his skillz. His teacher last year would physically hand me notes because home boy would lose them within the time it took to the walk down the hall. I think the record now though is when he lost a quarter in like 15 seconds.

But honestly good grades/ bad grades-
What stands out about Dan is his character. I can’t brag on a lot in this world, but his character and resolve leave me beaming with pride.
Seriously I will take a nice kid or a smart one any day.

And why is the world so smug about slower people, I will never know.  We have great imagination and personality, sometimes. And if people are so smart why can’t they get a state test for morality, ethics or imagination? Because i would totally own the imagination portion of that test.

Don’t get it twisted I’m not one of those people that thinks everyone should get a participation ribbon . Nnnnnoooooooo!
I’m quite the opposite -can we not give out ribbons all together??? Mostly because I hate feeling guilty about NOT attending a school ceremony. They are endless. And super boring.

I don’t really like the whole honor roll thing. I’m weird about numbers. Numbers are personal and it should be up to the person if they want to share their numbers. But now I am a hypocrite because I put Dan’ s business all over the internets. But no one post your tax bracket in the news paper or your weight in the church bulletin so we shouldn’t do it with grades.

But I may start writing my weight in the bathroom stall at the local truckstop just to keep me honest. Plus I just love a good truckstop.

keys/phone 2017 lost count: 5


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