There are things I want to bottle up and sell. Not to be filthy rich but just to show the world my genius.
One of those items is the smell of fruit loops or Target. But this bottle is not a smell but a feeling.
When your sleepy 2 year old climbs into bed and doesn’t demand chocolate milk or little Einsteins. He just wants to cuddle and sleep…if I could just bottle up that euphoric feeling… the world would be better place.
Then I think. How can I get my hands on some more cuddly little babies (the fatter the better)? There must be a need out there inthe world for someone who just wants to rock babies and watch the Peoples Court? That judge Millian knows what’s up. No one is better than Judge Judy though. For realz … she is probably my idol. But in real life she would probably hate me because I’m full of nonsense . And no matter what, I got to be me even if it is Judge Judy.
But man do hate I that phase of life where I have babies items all over the house. I hate that-bottles, blankets, pacifiers UGH. Just let me sniff the top of an infant’s head and rock it for a couple hours a day. That would be the perfect job. I don’t even mind diapers when they are that little. It’s the diapers of a giant two year old that haunts me.