Birthday Week

By: Tate

This has been a week.

This week marks my 33 birthday and also my mommy makeover operation.

A mommy makeover operation can be an assortment of procedures. Mine entailed breast augmentation and a tummy tuck and little bit of liposuction.

I have been dreaming of this procedure for 2 years. I have lost 30 pounds for this.

And after my pre-op appointment–I chickened out.
For a myriad of reasons. But the doctor’s office gave me three months to set up my appointment and I won’t lose my 500 dollar deposit.

My freak outs tend to cost my husband a lot of money but then again I freak out over the cost of surgery and then that freak out costs money putting us in a downward cycle of cash, class and a lot of tears.
The bottom line is everyone loses here.

But get this: I start getting a tooth ache and go into the dentist…. turns out instead of getting a new bod, I get to spend that allotted cash to fix my grill because evidently my teeth have no enamel and I have nerve exposure…

But wait there’s more: the subject of veneers comes up and my specific, eroded teeth situation seems to be great candidates. He even goes a step further and says because I’m so gap-toothed, he will not have to shave down my teeth for the veneers.

So, not only am I not getting boobs and a new stomach–I’m now walking around with eroded, gap teeth that are complete hoebags.  And it’s going to cost a fortune.

How did T-Bone take the news?
Well: I never told him and just acted like the whole thing was never going to happen. And when the money was returned, that’s when T-Bone wised up.
He knows this is a rollercoaster ride and he can’t get off until one of us is dead.
He doesn’t know about the tooth situation- yet.

As for my birthday… it falls on National Cancer Day. And now I hate cancer more than ever because everyone will be posting sad cancer posts on Facebook instead of glitter and unicorns for my birthday.


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