Visits to the Pokey

Places I love to go:
Spas, resale shops, Central Market, truck stops, museums and prisons.

On Saturday I went to a federal prison to visit my friend, Aiden.

Oh, I simply love visiting Aiden. T-bone and I are on his visiting list and as long as we Respondez si’l vu plait we can see him on Saturdays for 2 hours.

It’s kind of like Holy Golightly when she would go visit Sally Tomato 🍅 at sing-sing.

Except I’m 3 times the woman Audrey Hepburn is. Literally, she was such a petite thing and I’m well… an amazon who loves high heels 👠 . And you can’t wear little Black dresses with amazing hats. No. They will throw you out for stuff like that. When you go to visit someone in prison you have to wear boring clothes.
I wear sweatshirts and a pair of jeans and sneaks.
So I’m more Roseanne Conner than Holly Golightly.

But don’t get it twisted Roseanne is probably the smartest family sitcom ever invented. If you are like me-small town, lower middle class and you want to have kids-watch Roseanne and if you like what you see then go ahead and have kids. But if you can’t stomach watching Roseanne, then get your tubes all tied up and hold a gun to their head and watch something better or if you are a guy have a “hysterectomy” like T-bone did.  (The kid’s babysitter, Kelly, told her parents my husband had a “hysterectomy” instead of a vasectomy.)

My visits  with Aiden don’t include weather reports like in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. It’s mainly me asking every question under the sun and comparing his experiences vs Orange is the New Black. Aiden has the most amazing manners and skin. I don’t know how he maintains such a nice complexion because when I leave, my pores are screaming because the air inside the pokey is like airplane air. Part of my visit I’m eavesdropping on other convos between inmates and their loved ones. It’s all so loud and crowded. I’m sure others don’t mind. Plus some of the convos are so juicy you can’t help it.


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