This is how I want to die.

By: Tate

I’m on the couch flat on my back watching Super Why (kid’s show).

The show asked Y his name.
Y replies: Superman.
He is serious.

I look up at him. I’m laying down and he is sitting and super focused on the show.

I have a unique view of Y’s face. A real close up of his jowls. Imagine you are sitting under Winston Churchill’s chin.

winston churchill.jpg

I tell Y: “I could eat you.”

Side bar: I think it is totally normal to want to eat fat babies. Just call me Jonathan Swift. I’m pretty sure he is Tay-Tay’s great Uncle. And I take all my parenting advice from him. He has a great story about society and babies.

Anyway. I say to Y : “I want to eat your face.”
Without pause and his gaze never leaving the TV, he plops his face on my face.

This is how I want to die.

This is the same kid that wages war on the vacuum. He really has a lot of Chutzpah.

Note: I love Yiddish words. And I’m dying for a friend that knows things about this culture. I don’t know how to say that without sounding completely ignorant. But I have e-mailed every Hebrew organization who offers free classes and no one wants me.

I even Facebook message the people at Mench on the Bench and still nothing.

I live in small town Texas. Can’t there be some type of cultural out-reach program??? So before any of you fancy city folk tell another Deliverance joke, know there are people dying to be culturally educated but can’t leave the small town life because they are poor and need to be able to go into the Dollar General with out having an anxiety attack due to the fear of the kids being kidnapped.


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