Bagel-Scooping B

By: Tate

Here’s the deal. I really love going to basketball games.
I’m super excited that Italy is still in the playoffs because I have yet to go to a game.
So that just really works for me.

Don’t think for a moment that I am one of those sports girls.
Because I am most certainly not.
But I understand basketball. You can see the sweat, the hustle, you can hear the trash talk. I’m more of a fan of all the drama on the court

Whether I pay 3 dollars to watch people play or 300 dollars (and that’s not going to happen) I better see you out there sweating and exhausted and ready to fight.
Because in the end, I don’t care who you are in the realm of sports, Lebron.
The bottom line is:  you are good at playing with a ball.
BALLS
That’s it.

I know I’m in a huge minority in society for my sports opinions and that is ok.

Once I accidentally forgot that the Dallas Mavericks were playing in the championship game and I surprised T-bone with tickets to see a John Denver cover artist. T-bone was so 😡 mad. But he didn’t know how to be because I was so proud of myself for being such a thoughtful wife. I was giving myself high fives all the way to the concert .
We love John Denver.
Or we used too.
Missing that game kind of ruined it for T-bone.

But something I really enjoy is watching reality trash- we all have our things.   “keeping up with the real sister wives ” is my thing.
And don’t you dare shame me on this.
T-bone tries to shame me but I’m not having it.
He says, “They are all the same” talking about the reality shows.
Oh but guess what homie???? So are your shows….
Sports: someone wins and someone losses.
The End.

My nerdier friends might try to do the same thing- why do you watch trash?
Why not read a book?

Well, Evelyn, here is the deal:
If I’m into a book – I don’t put it down.
If my book is intense and the character is stressed -I’m stressed. 😖
So my kid is over there doing a line of coke and I’m all off in my book engulfed in my feels. PLUS! I can’t fold everyone’s laundry while reading a book.

Here is another scenario. In 2014 I’m reading a book, ” One Thousand White Woman.” I’m pregnant with my third at the time. But I get so upset I actually throw my book away because I did not like what was happening. I then cried myself to sleep for three nights in a row because every time I passed the wastepaper basket, I saw the book laying there.
I finally came to my senses and threw that hoe into the fireplace and watched it go up in flames.
To this day, I can’t bring myself to read what happened and I don’t go into the book section at Target, because that slutty book is still there.

Plus, I always end up loving the author more than the actual book. J.D Salinger was so much more interesting than that kid from Catcher in the Rye. So I may read about a book then cyber stalk the author . No worries there, I’m way too lazy to be a real life stalker.

One time I became obsessed with a Narrator in those audio books. Society is kind of rude about people who listen to books instead of read. And society is a real jerk for that because science says it does the same thing for your brain as actual reading. Don’t question, it’s science.

Anyway back to this narrator, Kate Fleming. She is or was AMAZING! You have never experienced A Tree Grows in Brooklyn  if you have not heard her read it. Especially if you live in the Southern United States.
But super tragic: she died in her basement during a flood in Maryland or one of those small North Eastern states that you can’t  write the names in the space inside the actual state, just out to the side and pray it’s in the right vicinity.
And I was so upset to learn one of the best narrators in the whole wide world is gone. And WTH? Because of flooding in a basement??? I didn’t know that was a thing. Because here in Italy, TX, we don’t have basements or floods.

And something else I just discovered about the North…. bagel scooping.
If someone calls you a “bagel scooping B”
You might want to start taking your hoop earring out because you are about to get into a fight.

You’re welcome.

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