Target

By: Tate

I have tried not to talk about this.

But I can’t ignore it anymore.

Target.

I know, I know – it’s so trite.

Sometimes I’m so basic- I can’t stand myself.

I tell myself I will just run in and get just one thing- I just need that one thing. From the cleaning section. I can bypass most of the store.

But here’s the deal. The Dollar Spot. That Godless Dollar spot.

But let us be real. It’s the 3-5 dollar spot, now. It used the be the Dollar spot and they changed it. No matter. We still throw our money at it anyway. Because we can’t say “no” to another $3.00 garland. So we buy countless 3-5 dollar this and thats and Target billionaires will buy another yacht. Everyone is happy.

Except our spouses. No, no. They hate us now because we drained the bank account at Target. And you know any minute now you will get a “WTH” text. Just ignore it. That’s what I do and hopefully some other disaster will distract your partner and perhaps that explanation will be better than the crap you found at the 3 to 5 dollar hot spot at Target.

Some people might say something completely idiotic like “just keep walking” past the spot.
We are all laughing at you.
You can’t.
I don’t mean to brag, but my will is pretty strong. Like, I don’t have a whole lot of upper body strength, but if the will were muscles, I wouldn’t be able to fit through the Target doors in the first place. That’s the thing: most of my gifts are unmeasurable and cannot be seen.
And every time, every time, every time I tell myself. Don’t stop at the spot. I even say it aloud as I walk in. I say out loud for the whole world to hear.
No matter.
The symphony of the spot will play and I will float over there and auto pilot takes over and at that point there is no return.
Now that I think of it, Target is evil.  But I’m hooked, I’m addicted, I can’t stop.

But just wait till I show you my Easter Egg garland. It is Fab!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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