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Yetti’s Birthday

By: Tate

We recently celebrated the Yetti’s Birthday. My youngest is now 3.
We threw a birthday pool party with family.
It was obvious success.

Yetti's Cake.jpg

This is the cake.
Many asked “what were you going for?”
My answer: edible.
You see this isn’t supposed to be anything but 4 small layered cakes.
No decorations- nothing.

How am I supposed to know you are supposed to put stabilizer in layered cakes. I thought the filling was supposed to act as some type of adhesive – but it doesn’t.
It just makes the cakes slippery.

Did I mention that The Yetti went off and jumped into the pool without his floaties?
Yes- this happened. And he sank like a rock.
No worries though I went right on in after him: clothes, shoes and all.

This is no surprise to me. The same thing happened, last year, with CiCi.

And just like last year I ruined my Minnetonka Moccasins.
But my kid is still alive.
So I’m happy about that.

But I still want my Minnetonka Moccasins.

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Meal Prep

By: Tate

I kid you not:
When I sweep the kitchen floor I find food that I can’t remember the last we had in our house. I found a cool ranch Dorito chip.
I like Doritos but I hate all that nonsense that gets all over your fingers when you eat them.
This food item had not been officially blacklisted, but I don’t buy them. So when I found one while sweeping I was floored. HA!

I meal prepped all day today. But not in a healthy way. More like in a way where dinnertime doesn’t seem so daunting.
But oh my G.O.S.H does that take forever.
No wonder so many post about it all their meal prepping that S takes forever.

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The Bend and Snap

By: Tate

Some of us will remember the time Elle Woods taught America the “Bend and Snap” in the cinematic classic:
Legally Blonde.

Bend and Snap

If you have not seen this masterpiece …what’s wrong with you?

Anyway… around here me and the kids still do the Bend and Snap.

Snap

It just looks a little different.

Shocked? That I snap my own green beans.
Me too.

 

Green Beans

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Cleaning is your job…

By: Tate

Meet CiCi.
Cici
She is known to make up song at random. Some have called her the “song bird of her generation”
Her latest hit was when she jumped on the couch and belted out this catching tune:

“Cleaning is your job
Cleaning is your job
You love your job
Just do your job”

I’m pretending this song was at random, but I happened to be cleaning her room at the time.
I mean I used to work for Congress. Now I’m in a 4 years old’s closet sorting skirts and socks.
Where did I go wrong?

 

 

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My Shoes

By: Tate

If ever someone inquires, “what’s it like to walk in your shoes?” đź‘ 

Well, it’s like putting your last kid to bed only to turn around and find 2 dozen eggs cracked in the floor and a toddler dragged out every toy to try to cover up the mess.

eggs

Then after cleaning up that catastrophe, you wake up a few hours later to your barking dog. And in order not to annoy the neighbors, you walk outside and yell at him in the most regal voice possible only to realize that you scared a skunk that was by the door to get sprayed.

The whole house smells like a fog of burned rubber.

Silver lining – I didn’t get any in me!!!
Some people are just divinely blessed.

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Senses

By: Tate

It is my understanding that if you get laser hair removal, you must first grow out that hair in the desired area.

I don’t know if that is true, but I make the decision to get laser hair removal based on that factor alone while I am in the shower.

I don’t want to shave my legs.
And what a luxury it would be to walk around this earth and not have to shave my legs.

I read an article that in Brazil, many bleach their body hair. So there’s that.

But I once heard a radio program that said there is actual scientific evidence that supports the theory that hair gives a person some sort of “6th sense” that helps the person be more aware of what’s going on around them. I totally have that.
I work off of vibes.
They are not always accurate, but I judge a person off their vibes seconds within meeting them. I think on the radio program they said hair has some sort of electro sensors. Anyway. Science, science, science.
I have tons of hair thus tons of sensors.

In fact , about 15 years ago, a group of my friends and I met this guy. Everyone immediately loved him. I shook his hand and straight out of  my mouth were the words: “I don’t like you. ”
I looked at my friend, Josh and said, “this guy is no good.”
Everyone thought I was being well… Tate-ish

And I was…. but my radar for bad people was going crazy!
And I couldn’t just sit there with all my senses going off and this incredible knowledge to bestow on all my wonderful friends who all but probably 3 thought  I was just a jerk.
But as it turns out… my friend , Josh, who I immediately shared my info with upon meeting this dude….ended up losing his girlfriend to him.

Now that’s not why I know he was a bad dude…. but you know. I think that
Josh probably thinks I am some sort of ESP genius or something and I’m fine with that.

But even with all my incredible power my hair gives me. If a laser hair removal spa would throw a few coupons my way I would gladly get rid of my leg sensors. Because really no one is going to listen to your hair sensors anyway, no matter how much they alarm you.

It’s just the ways of the world.