The Bend and Snap

By: Tate

Some of us will remember the time Elle Woods taught America the “Bend and Snap” in the cinematic classic:
Legally Blonde.

Bend and Snap

If you have not seen this masterpiece …what’s wrong with you?

Anyway… around here me and the kids still do the Bend and Snap.


It just looks a little different.

Shocked? That I snap my own green beans.
Me too.


Green Beans


Spring Break

By: Tate

It’s Spring break.
Thankfully my in-laws are probably some of the greatest set of grandparents.
So my kids have that going for them.
Thank God.
They took Dan and are showing him a good time. Plus he needs to get away from the two babies.

Because here’s the thing about Spring Break…
Everyone is on Spring break.
“Oh let’s go to the Zoo”
Everyone and their mother is at the Zoo.
Crowds and a bunch of kids… just kill me now.
Plus, I start thinking that’s the perfect “hot bed” scenario for molesters and kidnappers to come out and mix and mingle with kids and crowds.

In children’s church, all the kids were telling me all their fascinating plans of Disney, Camping and the Great Wolf Lodge. I look over at Dan and semi-promise to get his Christmas present (trampoline) put up.  I felt all the peer pressure from his friends who have good parents or rich parents that plan fabulous vaca’s for their kids.
4 days into Spring break and that trampoline is still in the box 😞


Me and My Whore Mouth

By: Ben

This is recycled from Facebook. But oh well.

As most of you know, my daughter sleeps in our bed and she has since she was 6 months old. Tonight, at age 13 months, I told her it was time to sleep in her bed. She sat straight up, looked me in the eye and shouted at me for a good 45 seconds. Just random, loud, high pitched babble.

I pretty much interpreted it as “you shut your whore mouth.”

So…..I shut my whore mouth. And she’s currently asleep. In our bed.

“Yep, I run this shit.” (I whispered this last part to myself as I turned over and got on the two feet of bed space-in my king sized bed-that my daughter graciously allows me to have.)

Apparently the only thing I actually run around this place is my whore mouth.